Tuesday 18 August 2015

Krispy Kreme Double Cheeseburger

You know that dream a lot of people have - the one about the Great American Road Trip? Renting a Harley or a topless muscle car and driving Route 66, hitting all the truck stops and shady motels - catching a glimpse of 'real America'. Well I have that same dream, I have had for years. Except  in my dream instead of the more traditional stop-offs, my trip would be littered with state and county fairs, where I would gorge on some of the unholiest and fattening dishes imaginable. I'm talking deep-fried butter, bacon margaritas (yes, they're a thing) and hot beef sundaes, which only sounds perverse if you want it to. And once I've had my fill - and assuming I'd lived a long and happy life by this point - I think I'd just keep rolling (probably the appropriate word) westward until I tumbled into the Pacific, all fat and diabetic, without an ounce of regret or shame. Because that's what life's all about isn't it? Eating shit and then dying. It's beautiful. Anyhow, this here might just be the beginning of the end for me...I actually made a goddamn donut burger.
The thing about Krispy Kremes is that they're just effing delicious. (I wonder how many times I'd have to link to them before they send me free donuts. Lucky for them I've got all the time in the world). Top tip, by the way - when you're not using them as a makeshift burger bun, bang a Krispy Kreme in the microwave for a couple of seconds before you chow down, it makes for an outrageous sticky treat. Or just eat them as they come, but that's easily the most boring thing ever - we can all eat a donut mate.
Bacon. Because obviously. Smoked, streaky bacon is the only thing that works in a donut burger. Anything would just be ridiculous. Four rashers seems a sensible amount. Sensible. Ha.
Steak mince and a touch of salt and pepper went into these two patties before I stuck them in the fridge to chill before cooking. Spend a bit of time shaping them so they look real nice. Or don't, who cares; you're about to eat a donut burger - nobody's ever going to respect you again anyway.

*SHAMELESS PRODUCT PLUG KLAXON*. Frank's Red Hot is the tits. I put that stuff on everything. It's a permanent fixture on my Mount Rushmore of condiments along with soy sauce, Green Tabasco, and blue cheese dressing. It's not all about ketchup, people. The world's bigger than that.
Oh, and of course I fried an egg. Over easy though, I didn't want a runny yolk. I mean I might be a little bit crazy but I'm not some kind of sadist. Look at that beautiful selection of burger bits and pieces, all ready to be assembled. Is it breakfast? Is it dinner? Is it both? Yeah. It's both. 
And that's the one. A Krispy Kreme Double Bacon Cheeseburger with a fried egg and hot sauce. I must admit, I only polished off half of this thing, giving the other half to my (surprisingly keen) better half. That's partly because I'm trying to eat healthier (LOL THIS IS ACTUALLY TRUE) and partly because I would like to keep doing this blog and not, you know, die soon.

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